11.27.2006

Mistakes and Regrets

I'm in the grad lab, reading Beauvoir. I find my French is best in the morning, for some reason. A few minutes ago I had a brief exchange with Elizabeth and Tweak about Beauvoir's lingual abilities (I know she was fluent in English and Latin; I think she knew German as well, since so much of her stuff is based on a particular reading of Hegel).

This got me to thinking. My constant bitching about my lack of lingual musicality is really just a symptom of a larger problem: my shitty undergraduate education. I made it through four years of college and learned next to nothing that I can use as a graduate student. My writing improved, I took some solid history classes, and I started reading and thinking about existentialism, but there are still huge gaps in my low-level knowledge about the history ideas, the history of Europe, and everything else I'm ostensibly a Master (of Arts) in/of. At the time, I got good grades, felt like I was learning a lot, lived in England for a year, and generally had fun, but in retrospect there was absolutely no system to how I approached education, nor did I ever get any guidance that was worth two shits. I've arrived here, funded in a PHD program, thanks to a kind of haphazard spew of essay-writing and my ability to work fast, if not particularly thoroughly.

I used to take pride in having no regrets. But the thing is, having no regrets at 20 is pretty easy relative to having no regrets at 28. If I could do it again:
  1. Two years of French and two years of German.
  2. Year abroad in a non-English speaking country.
  3. Systematic surveys in Western Civ and World History, then concentrations of classes on France, Germany, and Britain.
  4. A philosophy minor.
Still, I'm happy I worked in IT before going back to school and I'm happy that there was a lot of sex, booze, and nerd rock in college. That eases the burden a bit.

BTW, "Mistakes and Regrets" is the title of a fine song by the very-late-90s band You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. Like me, they love rock and they love D+D.

6 comments:

Rachel said...

Here's to two years of French, two years of German, one year of Latin, study abroad in a German speaking country that got me, well, not nearly as close to what I wanted as it ought to have. If you don't get off your butt, you still don't get to grab the brass ring. One positive thing - I started my new German class tonight and I am amazed at how much German I actually do know when I'm forced to use it. :) Also, I can understand a good half of the news in French. But the Latin - she is pretty much dead, I think. :)

hardcori said...

undergrad is the new high school you know.

Adva Ahava said...

UCSC needs an undergraduate historical methods and theories course. The only reason I've felt in any way prepared for that stuff is because I took lit and fem theories courses.

...but I still really didn't feel prepared for much. Undergrad education in general needs a good ass-kickin'

noncoupable said...

I would not be here if it wasn't for the three graduate history classes I took at GMU before deciding to come back to school. My undergrad education taught me how to spew code and kiss the client's ass, which I suppose means it didn't really teach me much.

As for the French and German... to this day I wish one of my parents was fluent in another language and had spoken it at home. I'm always jealous of people who grow up entirely immersed in another language. Yes, I got some time in France, but I wished I'd spent high school there too. I'd be a lot smarter now and I would be able to speak correctly (my grammar stinks).

Alexis said...

Just remember, you can't say "I had fun" in French. Does anyone care if you amused yourself? Mastery of French might aid your study, but this comment is to say that English is the superior language. Of all. German is for Fascists. Latin is Dead.

Dolce Vita said...

Some comments...

Be sure to spread the blame around - your high school probably also crapped out when it came to foreign languages. (My high school bussed me to the only other high school in town at 6 AM all during my junior year so that I could take the only third-year French class in town.) Most school districts share a myopic assumption that the world revolves around the English language.

Get it while you still can. After you leave school, you'll be out in the cold, hard wilderness (I can attest to this). I also realized that I needed to know more about world history, so I sat in on those classes while I prepared for comps.

As for French, c'est merveillant. Le langue et la culture (comme des autres) expriment des idées, des concepts, ou bien des expériences qui n’existent pas dans le monde anglais. I have found it quite useful (even as a U.S. historian).

My point - it's not too late to make up for the failure of the public school system!