10.25.2006

I Am So Hot

This will be the most interesting post ever.

I have three things that make me uncomfortably hot all the time:
  1. A shaved head / kickass male pattern baldness.
  2. Tattoos more or less covering my arms and lower legs.
  3. A furnace-like metabolism.
Factors 1 and 2 make me hot because I have to wear a hat all the time to keep my scalp from getting sunburned (this is ok; it gives me the excuse to wear cool hats) and I have to wear long sleeves to keep my ink from being exposed to the sun. So far I'm also sticking to not showing off the ink while on campus; this puts me somewhere between tactful/respectful and just chickenshit. So you have a be-hatted and be-sleeved me at times when I really want to be there sans hat and avec a t-shirt and shorts. Oh, and the metabolism speaks for itself.

Becky and I were discussing new fashion directions that might help me out now that we're California residents. I love thrift-store button shirts with a 65% polyester, 35% cotton, 100% stylish blend. I can sport one of those and be comfortable on hot days; they breathe and they cover up the tats. We resolved to hit the local thrift barns. Then Becky dropped a bombshell:

"Have you ever thought that it could be your PANTS making you so hot?"

Those are words to ponder, and not just for me. I'm asking all of my hot friends (and there are a lot of you reading this): have you ever thought that it could be your pants making you so hot?

8 comments:

Cabiria said...

I think you should try skirts. Skirts make you cool, and vaguely Scottish. Pants provide more hotness than many people can handle on an everyday basis.

Adva Ahava said...

Are you PANTing in the heat? We pan't all be as hot as you. If you try a kilt, that would be skirting around the issue. Maybe it's an inherited or biological thing - is it in your jeans?

I think I KNEEd to stop this now.

kungfuramone said...

I have sent ninjas to kill Heather. It had to be done.

Rachel said...

For her own sake, right? Gotta say that capris generally don't make a very good fashion statement. But they are a whole lot more comfortable than pants.

Tiny problem - don't you have enough tats on your legs that you need to where full lenth pants (or a full length kilt, I suppose)? Do they make linen pants for guys?

clumsygirl said...

Why are you wearing hot pants? ... and when did this start happening? (puzzlement and confusion)

Brian also has the mega-metabolism. He only wears long sleeves during snow storms.

Lesli Larson said...

Two words: seersucker and knickers.

Kelly said...

cori took the words right off my keyboard.

Kilts are the way to go.

kungfuramone said...

Ok, no kilts or capris or skirts or hot pants for ME, but I endorse them for all of you.