(I'm back to feeling terrible today...I had the worst non-hangover-related headache I've ever had when I woke up and I'm kind of fading in and out this morning. The problem is that I'm a temp, hence I have no sick time, hence I have to go to work. Almost certainly, I felt better yesterday because I took Wednesday off and lay around all day.)BUT: my present state of health is not today's topic. Today's topic is CAMPUS FASHION. Specifically, professorial fashion; it's delightfully frumpy and weird. Many older profs (in all disciplines!) tend to dress like they're wearing stuff that they found in free boxes back in early 70s. The ladies have dresses and skirt combos that are kind of big rectangles or cubes. The guys have pants that reach for the sky and leave several inches of ankle exposed. I have to restrain myself from handing out hi-fives.
The younger, sort of middle-generation profs seem to try to keep up appearances a bit; the women wear coordinated but hideous outfits (think: purple) and the men usually just wear big, dark-colored suits. Sometimes, miraculously, a prof of either sex ends up putting together an outfit that actually looks really cool, usually in black. But that doesn't matter. Because:
WHITE TENNIS SHOES, DUDE.
Profs are terrible about white tennis shoes. Black suit? White tennis shoes! Brown dress? White tennis shoes! Sweater-button shirt-jeans? White tennis shoes! Usually, they're the really horrible, puffy kind. When combined with white socks (which they always are), the rare cool professorial outfit ends up being a worse train wreck than the usual fare.
Let's be clear: the only appropriate place to wear big puffy white tennis shoes is the tennis court.
Two important caveats:
First, the youngest generation of profs, those who recently completed their doctorates and are just starting out, are often remarkably snappy dressers. I think they issue white tennis shoes with tenure or something.
Second, this guy breaks all the rules and dresses like a total fucking stud, despite his senior prof status. I'm biased in my assessment; he dresses just like I do. Seriously, we have the same hat.
P.S. I'm really worried now that one of my friends wears white tennis shoes and I'm forgetting and I just totally dissed them. If that happened, I'm really sorry. I'm sure that against all odds YOU pull it off with aplomb!
4 comments:
My Euro Hist adviser as an undergrad rocked the all-black Jewish Manhattan look. Black plastic glasses, black jeans, black T-shirt, black Kenneth Cole shoes and black standard poodle. Once he came in in an old pair of almost acid wash jeans and a white T-shirt and I had no idea who he was.
that being said, academia is also about rocking the hot glasses (Prof Hoss).
I think we need to bring in a signature shoe. I'm voting for Doc Martens with everything. Black or colorful, steel toe (for kicking undergrads) or not, there is little a good pair of Docs doesn't go with.
See, students will never be able to say anything about my fashion sense, because I'll be sportin' the tri-corn hat like the colonial drag king stud that I am, and they'll be knocked off their feet...
Most of the (female) art teachers I know are in their 60's. They rock some amaaaazing skirted outfits that are pretty outlandish. Lots of color, lots of pattern, lots of incredible. The few male art teachers I knew have either worn paint-stained, super-thrashed clothes and pony tails, or they did the all black, nice shoes deal. I suppose it depended on whether their concentration was fine art or design.
My main contribution to the "art teacher standardized clothing plan" will be to ferret out and wear big, rad necklaces and rings (plus tattoos and fun hair). That's my plan.
This is precisely what our generation brings to the table: teachers with sweet-ass tattoos.
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