Allow Me To Suggest

As a vrai bon vivant, I've tasted my share of life's sweetest fruit(ses). Allow me to suggest a few:
  1. Arrested Development. I didn't appreciate it when it was on the air. Only three seasons were made before FOX realized that they had unleashed a subversive monster that might undermine republican election results. Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's the funniest show ever made, next only to the golden years of The Simpsons.
  2. Brie and carmelized onions on french bread. Your palate will explode with tasty flavors. You will fall over and have seizures...of the goodness.
  3. "Pirate coffee": just really ridiculously strong black coffee. Don't pollute your java with additives, people.
  4. Apple Computers. They're compu-seductive.
  5. The Pacific Northwest. Man am I homesick.
  6. Two-buck Chuck Merlot. The cabernet is acceptable, I don't drink white wine so I don't know, but just avoid the Shiraz. It's really awful. Anyway, the merlot is where it's at.
  7. Iron Chef America. The original Japanese program is probably the greatest thing ever put on television. The first attempt at an American follow-up was an acknowledged disaster, featuring William "fucking" Shatner as the chairman. The Food Network reconfigured its options, and the present iteration was born, featuring the gentleman-scholar Alton Brown as the host. People: it's worth your time. Becky and I fucking love this show. Whether you're cheering Bobby Flay losing or cheering Mario Batali winning, it's awesome.
  8. Redoing your blog's color scheme. Open your heart.
Anyway, Becky and I have been enjoying another one of our patented Wine Nights. Allow me to suggest, also, that you grab your (a) hot young thing and devise a master plan involving crime-fighting and wine-drinking...tonight!


Trust in Steel said...

Excellent advice! Vino is always good!!

Rachel said...

hey! I LIKE William Shatner. He's such a tard, he's fantastic to watch. It's always made me wonder how someone so utterly talentless could build a long and quite successful (who DOESN'T have the pleasure of knowing who William Shatner is?) career.

kungfuramone said...

I think "tard" is probably the best possible term for Shatner. Well selected.

Rachel said...

thank you, thank you.... I do try. :)

Boston Legal is like a whole show full of tards - except Candice Bergen, who is brilliant and is far better than that show deserves.

Dolce Vita said...

You are SO right about Arrested Development. I began watching it half way through the second season and I just finished watching the first season on DVD. I've been pondering the point you made and have concluded that it is the funniest show ever made.