4.22.2007

Recipes for Successfulness

Blogs ought to edify and edumicate, right?

How to get over a hangover:
  1. Before you go to bed, drink 1 pint of water and take 2 ibuprofen.
  2. Sleep in as long as you possibly can.
  3. If you can keep food down, eat cereal.
  4. Whether or not you can keep food down, drink coffee.
How to clean the giant clump of shit off of your bunny's ass when it gets stuck in her hair:
  1. Run warm water in the tub.
  2. Hold your bunny firmly but gently and put her ass under the running water.
  3. Hold her with one hand while using the other to pull the crap and encrusted hair off.
  4. Have your S.O. handy to dump the poop n' stuff in the toilet.
  5. Have a stiff drink after you're done. Because it's gross.
How to write a standard rock song:
  1. It goes verse chorus verse chorus bridge verse chorus.
  2. Have the rhythm guitarist or bassist sing harmony on the chorus.
  3. 1-4-5 and 1-4 are safe chord changes. Mix and match as necessary.
How to get a PHD in history:
  1. Learn to read a couple of languages while you're an undergraduate.
  2. Do about 3 or 4 years of coursework; produce a MA thesis during your second year.
  3. Take your qualifying exams.
  4. Go somewhere and root around in archives for a while.
  5. Come back and write your dissertation.
  6. See! Wasn't that easy?

3 comments:

Rachel said...

sorry about the bunny poop. Caesar ate a huge string once. Good five feet long of string. Gross. Happy finishing Ph.D'ing! I'm currently fun and fancy free for the fall - another way of saying I haven't got a clue what the hell i'll be doing for the first time in my life. Fun, but a bit scary. :)

Elizabeth M. said...

I love that bunny ass and how to get a phd can find a home under a common roof of a blog post.

Dolce Vita said...

I like the imagry that I conjured up for "rooting around in some archive" - as I am rooting now. It makes me feel like a pig looking for truffles.