Ain't Got No Subject Line 'Cuz She Done Me Wrong

That's how a blog post would start if I sang the blues, only I'd say it twice.

Anyway, there is nothing new.  See here:

1. Buying a house a kind of painful process.  Have I mentioned that?  Yes, I have.
2. The heat last week just about killed me.  I was unprepared for a super-hot in September.  The advent of gray skies and cool winds made me fall over in happy relief-edness.
3. I start teaching again ridiculously soon!  Weird!
4. Plan C is one crazy 16-month old.  We had a lovely reprieve tonight after she took an actual nap and was in a good mood for the rest of the evening.  This was not coincidental.  
5. You know what I like to eat?  Kale.  God being old is weird.
6. Mostly I like to eat runny eggs, though.
7. We're going to H+M this weekend!  Gonna maybe buy me some more pants!
8. Have I mentioned of late that Pesto is still truckin' along at nine years?  She is one awesome bunny.

Accidentally Called my Co-Worker a Jerk-Off Today

Despite the ridiculous and completely evil late-summer heat wave that I hate like death, I rode my bike to work today.  On leaving, I discovered that the owner of the next bike over on the rack had U-locked my brake line to his bike and the rack.  Thus, I could not depart.  Nor, however, could I just take the bus home, because that would entail leaving the bike there all night and it's my homie E's bike - not mine to chance to the tender mercies of Portland's nocturnal bike goblins!  I went back up to the office to get a sticky note to write on and announced to everyone that "some jerk-off" had done this thing.  My co-worker J commiserated, saying he had suffered through precisely the same predicament in Boston this one time.  Then he asked what the bike looked like and (this is where I skip to the obvious conclusion to the anecdote) it turns out it was him.

I was greatly relieved because I got to go home and I also felt kind of bad for accidentally calling him a jerk-off.  Everyone in the office thought it was HI-larious, however.  I am basically a morale officer.

In other news!

1. My old ska band is playing a reunion show tomorrow evening (an evening which just happens to be my birthday) in Eugene.  I feel bad for missing it mostly because it's a tribute show for the old drummer, a remarkable guy who died tragically recently of a heart attack.  I would have also liked to have seen the old gang, people who were really important to me during those formative late adolescent years.  But...I can't.  My non-working time is dad time, and house-buying-stuff-time, and it just wasn't in the cards.  Here's hoping they rock it third-wave late 90s skinny ties and docs style tomorrow.
2. Seriously leaning toward getting a single-speed bike.  I just hate gears!  They suck!
3. I am now becoming a sort of apprentice project manager at work, along with being the systems guy and the QA guy.  One of my bosses referred to me as the "leatherman" of the joint, but I don't think he realized that my alternative lifestyle choices don't so neatly subscribe to a single encompassing category like that.  (get it?  get it?  I'm being funny!)
4. Birthday weekend plans!  B's being a stud and letting me play D+D and have band practice!  Hot damn!

Did Get a House

1. Thursday: house comes on market.
2. Friday: B sees house.
3. Saturday: we see house together.  Offer is made.
4. Sunday: counter-offer made by seller.  Counter-off accepted.

And that is how you do it.

Obviously, this is pending the inspection and all that jazz, but we're feeling good about this one.  It's on N. Concord, close-in North Portland, a block from the Max line.  It also has almost all new stuff, including the unheard-of new windows.  It's right at the tippy-top of what we can afford, but not over said tippy-top, so we're okay.

With any luck, the place will be ours in early October and we'll be moved in by Halloween.  Ain't that some shit. 

A Stupid Thing to Do to a House

We saw our first house that had been staged for flipping (yes, people still do that shit in this economy, somehow...) It had been HGTV'd to the nines, with granite counter tops and new floors kind of stapled onto the existing structure. The location was awesome and it was still a good house; we may well have made an offer on it except that...

...THEY SOLD THEIR BACK YARD.

Yes, part of the flipping thing is selling off the yard, which was just barely big enough that some dickhead developer is going to come in and build one of those obnoxious tall n' skinny townhouses that are springing up like deadly nightshade all over Portland. It was a huge bummer, because it immediately made even considering the place a non-starter.

So: to developers and house-flippers: please go run into something sharp.

Cheers,
-KFR

Didn't Get The House

I haven't had a generic newsy post in a while, so here I go...

We've been going back and forth with the seller of this one neat house in North Portland for the last two-plus weeks. It's a cool place in a nice neighborhood. It also has a lot of big-deal problems, so the negotiations had to do with making sure that he'd fix 'em before we bought it. We finally reached a point today where there was just too much of an unknown potential money-pit factor (four foundation repair inspections later) and we bailed.

We are bummed, but also excited to look at other places armed with the knowledge gleaned from this particular $700 misadventure (the cost of all the inspections - the would-be buyer has to pay for those...)

All subsequent houses we consider putting an offer down on must have the following characteristics:

1. Gas heat.
   
2. No not-necessarily decommissioned old oil tanks buried in the yard.
3. No foundation issues.
4. More than a few feet in between us and the neighbors.
5. A basement that is not too cavelike; actual stalagmites especially not okay.
   
6. A neighborhood we'd be down with walking in.

Anyway, better luck next time, us.

So You Want to Know How I Do It?

Well, I shall TELL you, then!

1. Pasta.
2. Two fried eggs with runny yolks.
3. A bunch of shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese.
4. Olive oil.*

And I am good to go.

* Why the crap do chefs on cooking shows always specify extra virgin olive oil? Of course it's extra virgin! Would I purchase extra slutty olive oil? I think not!

I Love Bureaucracy. No, I Really, Honestly Do.

We're in the midst of full-on house-buying crazytown, a quest that took me to the Bureau of Something Something near PSU last week to look for old plumbing permits. While there, I was reminded again of the grace of professional bureaucrats and the ease of navigating a huge bureaucracy. Want to know the secret? Here you go:

1. Be really nice to the bureaucrats.

These people spend their professional lives in front of spreadsheets and/or the public, both of whom can be bitches. Bureaucrats do not hate you; what they want is to have an easy time doing their jobs. What they want is a nice, polite person to make reasonable requests of them and to then follow the rules in having those requests fulfilled. They want you to be patient and understanding. If you do these things...they will DO WHAT YOU WANT IN THE CONTEXT OF THEIR PROFESSIONAL CAPABILITIES AND CAPACITY. They will get you that permit! They will process that request! They will transfer your child to the other school! They will DO THESE THINGS. Sorry to e-shout.

In short, to brag, I always get what I want with bureaucrats, because I am nice to them.

Verily Shall I Endeavor!

...to do the following things!

1. I shall ignore the fact that I am on a bike, miserably racing past dorks in their silly bike clothes and dodging traffic. Note that this willful ignorance will not preclude me from due caution.
2. I shall eschew the three hours of video game leisure I have per week in favor of maybe closer to 1.5 hours of it, along with 1.5 of something more useful!
3. I shall write some new tunes for The Nervous. For lo, at some point shall we practice yet again!
4. I shall continue my miserable fucking workout routine, in the vain quest of...what? Who knows?!
5. I shall continue diving head-first into technical challenges at work about which I know...precious little.
6. I shall blog slightly more frequently!