Everything Good in Life

I went to the doctor yesterday. I hadn't been in to see a doctor for general health reasons since I was, I think, about 19. At this meeting it was confirmed that I have borderline high blood pressure; the term is "pre-hypertension." I was instructed to purchase a home blood pressure monitor with which to take two daily readings, to record the results, and to return in 8 weeks to consult. Through adjustments to consumption and lifestyle, it is hoped that I will be able to knock a few numbers off of my readings and return to the normal / safe range.

As you can imagine, I am thrilled to bits. Let me break it down like a fraction:
  1. Salt: makes everything taste good.
  2. Alcohol: makes everything fun.
  3. Caffeine: makes everything possible.
My prescribed adjustments to consumption and lifestyle?
  1. Eat less salt.
  2. Drink less booze.
  3. Hold myself to two cups a day.
As ever, the things that make life worth living are the things that kill us.


Elizabeth said...

Join the ranks of the hedonists who refrain in order to happy, happy lives. So far this is a club of one and I'd love company.

kungfuramone said...

Yeah...see, this is one of those cases in which the object(s) of the hedonistic desire are, well, different. Believe me, I *wish* I experienced restraint as enjoyment...

clumsygirl said...

The doc sounds like a quack to me.

Pshhh. Who's ever heard of refraining from booze, salt AND caffeine. Ridiculous.

the rambler said...

Dissertations don't help either.

noncoupable said...

Salt shouldn't be too much of a problem, unless you are used to dumping a bunch of it on your food or you eat frozen meals.

Also, I had a historian friend at Mason (cheery history of 20th century Eastern Europe) with your prescription and he was able to get by on half-caf coffee. Maybe you could start with that?

Alcohol... well I don't drink it much, but that seems like it might be your downfall. You could start by not drinking while B can't either, than just have it occasionally?

kungfuramone said...

I am never, ever, going to drink anything less than 100% caffeine black coffee. This is a "buck stops here" kind of stand on principle thing.

Yeah, I don't really give a shit about the salt.

And the booze? The goal is to be a strictly social drinker. I was already heading in that direction, so this just kind of confirms the necessity.

Angelina said...

I just adore your blog. I just do. You could pretty much write about anything and I would read it. For true homez.

ransom said...

This is the wrong direction. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to take caffeine back up, not have you join me in the ranks of the semi-conscious.

Sigh. Moderation in all things. Including moderation.

Chrissy said...

Also, if the salt thing starts to bug you, there is fake salt for people like you. It tastes the same. :)

Did you tell your doctor that you are (and have been for a while now) deep into your pursuit of a phd? Because it seems like high blood pressure would kind-of come with the territory (and maybe hopefully go away afterward)?