Captain Neckbeard, Fake-Tattoo Riverdance

A truncated narrative of the ongoing critique of the olympic opening ceremonies by a group of our dearest friends in a beach house in Lincoln City, Oregon, this last Friday:

"What the HELL? How are fake-tattoo utilikilt-wearing tap dancers with fiddles CANADIAN?!"
"What is lamer than tap-dancing? Anything?"
(reply): "Watch, next they'll have slam poetry."
(twenty minutes later when they ACTUALLY DID have slam poetry): COLLECTIVE SHOCK.

And then there was the flying kid who looked like Frodo with Downs Syndrome. I'm sorry, he just did.

Here is a picture of Slam Poet Captain Neckbeard, who emerged for the first time from an empty coffee shop to find himself in front of the entire television-watching world:

Notes: the thing with the tap-dancing fiddlers is that it really, truly doesn't matter that there is (apparently) an indigenous tradition of tap-dancing and fiddling in eastern Canada. To non-Canadians, and I suspect to many west-coast Canadians as well, it just looked like a Hot Topic version of Riverdance. In other words, it looked weird and Irish, not Canadian. Mounties? Yes. Gretzky? Oh heck yes. But Riverdance as Canadian? No, not at all.


noncoupable said...

I liked the lighting. The thing with the whales was cool... would love to hear HH chime in on that one.

Happy Hippo said...

I didn't watch it.

But I am guessing that it was a nod to Cape Breton and that one of the fiddlers was Ashley MacIsaac. (Maybe the demonic hobitty looking guy?) Here he is fiddling, jigging, and keeping his balance on stage with an amazing head of hair.


Chica said...

Dude, hipsters suck....hipster poets, yikes like a later mike myers film. BUT dude layoff the indigenous practices, no need to degrade them. I think it is funny how conservative "liberals" are. I remember Portland in the 80s was a skinhead party, I guess they just put themselves in a different guise.
Love the blog, though.

kungfuramone said...


kungfuramone said...

BTW, "indigenous" means "native to." It doesn't necessarily mean "same thing as Native American / Canadian." By "indigenous tradition" I meant "Canadians of European ancestry who tap dance while fiddling, apparently."

Ahem: do the math.