How To Play The Anal Game

Ha! Bet that got your attention. I know I've posted about this before, but I think that an annual reminder is probably a good idea.

It's fun to start a conversation in the car, particularly with people you don't know very well, with the question "so do you guys ever play the anal game?" Here's how you play: As you drive around, put the word "anal" in front of the model name of cars you see. Look for particularly funny combinations of terms. SUVs and RVs are usually the best. Here are a few of my favorites:

• The Anal Explorer
• The Anal Pathfinder
• The Anal Ranger
• The Anal Probe (kind of obvious, I know...)
• The Anal Expedition
• The Anal Stalker (not making this one up...it's a kind of old RV)
• The Anal Navigator (my all-time favorite)
  

A brand new addition for me on the favorite list is:

• The Anal Lancer (pictured above)
  

Lots of model names don't really work, especially with cars (like BMW and Mercedes) that don't have proper names, just alphanumeric combinations that mean nothing (the Anal 2002, for instance.) Likewise, models like "tercel" and "civic" don't really work. That said, the anal game is really the superior option for road trips, over the boring collect-the-states license plate game, 20 questions, and so on.

Informational detritus:
I had horrible stomach cramps last night for no apparent reason that kept me up until 4:00am. I feel like the worst combination of hungover and exhausted today. It's the 4th of July, the holiday on which people from San Jose come over the hill and blow up SC every year. Thus, B and I will be hiding behind locked doors watching the second season of...The Wire! It's as good as everyone says it is; just stick with it through the first three episodes and you're all set.

That is all. Happy 4th, everyone. Don't blow yourself up or set your state on fire.