As of this moment, I have become convinced that most people are like me, and that as a result I will eventually be able to take over the world, with the support of my like-minded masses. Let me explain:
The Fourth of July is the most obnoxious holiday on the calendar. In most places, the weeks preceding and following the 4th are punctuated with explosions and people screaming.* On the 4th itself one generally has three options: spend a couple of hours getting to and from a munipal fireworks show, involving a giant stinky crowd, go to a barbecue and have a private fireworks show, involving significant risk to life and limb coming, going, and igniting, OR...hide. Side note: Fireworks themselves are usually much louder than they are pretty, especially when they're set off by asshole neighbors you wish you didn't have. All in all, the hassle-to-benefit ratio is completely out of whack.
The reason that I think I'm going to take over is that more people stay and hide than take either of options A. or B. There are 56,000 people in Santa Cruz, but only maybe a thousand will be down on the beaches, probably, and only maybe 10 or 15 thousand will be at barbecues. By my airtight math, that leaves about 40,000 SC residents-slash-proto-KFR supporters. If I can just get in touch with those people, imagine the possibilities.
* Most scream "woooooo!" You may remember my policy regarding "woooooo!": kidney stones.
7.03.2007
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3 comments:
i like fireworks. :) From a safe distance. I especially like them only once a year. :D
with any luck, emergency rooms every where will be chock full of "whoooooo!" kidney stone patients the next couple of days.
I generally agree with your assessment - It's also nice to see you are progressing well toward your self-professed goal of becoming a grumpy old man at an early age. Make sure to wave the cane around in an appropriate manner. Take Care!
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