Ninja Assassin: Best Movie...EVER?!

Silent, deadly, and homoerotic. Just the way I like 'em.

Once in a great while a film comes along that earns both critical acclaim and massive box office receipts. As far as I know, Ninja Assassin did neither. BUT IT TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE, you guys! In the interest of my lifelong love of ninjas, I'm going to note the things that my nine year-old self LOVES about this movie, as well as his critical remarks. Please see below.

Nine year-old KFR loves the following about Ninja Assassin:
  1. The ninjas are silent but deadly!
  2. They have a mountain fortress of training and discipline!
  3. They wield the kusari-gama, the wakazashi, and the shuriken with consummate skill!
  4. Through sheer force of will, they can melt into the shadows, teleport, and heal themselves!
  5. Training sequences!
  6. Classic ninja attire; none of this colors-other-than-black bull-honkey.
  7. Mere special forces guys find themselves hard-pressed to do anything but die!
Nine year-old KFR isn't crazy about the following about Ninja Assassin:
  1. The main character rarely wears his ninja gear, instead favoring no shirt, scars, and floppy hair.
  2. The ninjas are the bad guys, so most of the time the main character is busy betraying / killing his fellow ninjas.
  3. (Spoiler alert!) In the end, the special forces guys, along with the main character, pretty much gun down all the ninjas.
Despite those shortcomings, though, we at kungfuramone.blogspot.com heartily recommend Ninja Assassin, especially if you've been drinkin' all day.


theNerdPatrol said...

I admit I dismissed this movie immediately upon seeing the trailers. The weapons all being CGI totally turned me off. Is it as obvious in the film, or does it blend better?

kungfuramone said...

It is totally obvious, as is the CG blood-splatters. That said, I found that it made the movie even better.

Cody Austin Rich said...

CG weapons and blood splatters? Hurm...

Only up to a point can I really handle certain kinds of movies. But when that threshold is blatantly ignored, crossed, and laughed at from a distance... pure gold.

theNerdPatrol said...

Maybe you'll have to force me to watch it once you live here again ;)

Colin said...

I'm glad that liked it, and I totally agree with you about the unsatisfying ending. Guns shouldn't be able to kill ninjas. Cheaters!

You should see it on Blueray. The blood spatters and decapitations threaten to come out of the screen.