This Is Why We're Fat

The "Texas Benedict," courtesy of This Is Why You're Fat dot com. Hilarious.

Like most people who get their news from the interwebs, I read this Time article about exercise and obesity a few weeks ago. The article notes that obesity rates have climbed in the US at the same rate as exercise, and goes on to make the claim that the problem is that most people end up ingesting more calories after exercising than they burned while doing it. You work out for 30 minutes, then you reward yourself with a great big muffin. Or the equivalent.

I'm less impressed with that argument and more taken with the subsidiary one: if you take in more than you burn, you gain weight. It's one of those "no shit, Sherlock" points that the rest of us weren't clever enough to figure out in so many words. All of the obsessing over carbs and fats and trans fats and complex this and simple that, all of it is of tertiary importance compared to the simple number of calories balanced against actual energy needs.

I remain a pretty slender fellow. Like everyone else, though, I still wish I looked like I did when I was, say, 19 (the abs of yesteryear...) The calorie revelation led me to look up what I eat and drink and come to the irritating conclusion that 3 beers = 480 calories is indeed a good reason not to drink so much beer.

Just another reason we can't have nice things, you guys.


Chrissy said...

Dude, I quit drinking beer (with the exception of the occasional one here or there) about two months ago and I lost almost ten pounds. Beer is definitely why some people are fat.

Austin Rich said...

Indeed. I have lost a little weight since I stopped drinking, and I do feel a little healthier. Then again, I've been so poor all I've been eating is soup and vegetables anyway.

noncoupable said...

Wine isn't so bad if you consume it in moderate quantities, but yeah beer will do you in. I used to drink pretty bad at VT. I quit binging on the beer and started exercising 2-3 times per week (this was before I became psycho athlete). Doing that alone I dropped about 20 pounds in < a year.

Happy Hippo said...

How about trying this? I drank 4-5 five bottles of beer last night tired and on a fairly empty stomach and then rid myself of that beer and what little food I consumed this morning. I feel terrible now, but 'no pain, no gain,' right?

kungfuramone said...

This is a new and exciting dieting method, the "47-year old Scottish alcoholic in Glasgow" Technique.

El Chupacabra said...

Fortunately I've developed a new diet plan that will solve all of America's obesity issues. You still get all the foods you love, only instead of eating them, you simply smoke them in a giant hookah provided. Problem solved.