I was not sure if I was going to post anything about this, because it's a lot more personal than most things I put on this blog, but I feel like I'm performing something of a public service, so here I go:Dudes: get a vasectomy.
B and I have always been 100% sure that we were going to have less than or equal to one kid, and with Plan C seven weeks old, happy and healthy, we have succeeded in that goal. B was on the pill for a long, long time and it contributed to unhappy feelings in a very unequivocal way. Then she had to have a cesarean. So having a vasectomy is, really, the least I could do in the context of my marriage and life in general.
I'll spare you the details, but the whole thing took less than 20 minutes. Recovery takes a few days. That's the whole deal.
It pisses me off that so many men are so defensive about this and similar issues. Women have to submit to uncomfortable and, let's face it, kind of humiliating examinations every single YEAR. They're often expected to be the ones worrying about birth control, they (obviously) have to deal with the lion's share of pregnancy issues, and comparable sterilization surgery (i.e. tubes tied) is far more intrusive than the male equivalent. From my perspective, this is a no-brainer; if you and your partner know that you don't want to have any kids or any more kids, the dude should go and get it done.
For me, this is an aspect of sadly-neglected masculinity: being responsible and being willing to make uncomfortable decisions when they're the logical ones to make. The whole idea of "manning up" seems to mean being able to, say, survive a season crab fishing in Alaska, rather than, say, being a responsible father and husband. That, my young friends, is horseshit.
4 comments:
Word.
Fo' reals.
Most masculine bullshit is exactly that: dudes hitting each other as hard as they can to prove that they can take it, all the while ignoring the really difficult things in life. In actuality, it takes a real man to own up to responsibility in situations like the one you are describing. It's takes a real coward and a pussy to make someone else bear your burden.
Marriage is a partnership, and each of you should shoulder equal amounts of responsibility in terms of how that partnership play out. So, yes, man up.
Let a trained medical professional take a scalpel to your testicles once. If you can't scrape together the guts to do that for someone you love, then what are you willing to do?
Seriously.
C&B: Welcome to the V-club. Sorry you guys missed the dinner a while back.
I call it the Earring club. Now they're just there to dangle and look good.
Though I'm still dealing with complications from my less-than-flawless vasectomy, I totally agree with you on this.
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