2.21.2010

Taxation, Bobsled Announcers

Taxation: academics spend a lot of time pursuing grants. A grant is a sum of money, from a modest 500-dollar one-time deal to attend a conference and present a paper up to the famous and bizarre 500,000-dollar Macarthur Foundation "genius grants" for being smart, charming, and having a firm handshake. They're awarded by committees, selected from a pool of comparable applicants, and they are often the only thing that makes research and writing possible.

What grants have is the ability to allow people to do their research and write their papers. What grants don't have is tax withheld. Thus, despite the fact that the grant I'm on this year is doled out in three chunks, 2/3 of which take place in 2010, I still owed for the whole damn thing on my 2009 taxes. Right now I feel a little like Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, after he renounced all worldly positions and went to go join the wandering ascetics.

Bobsled Announcers: are really funny. We watched about 20 minutes of two-man bobsled on the olympics last night. B and I were trying to figure out what the announcers reminded us of and B finally realized that they're almost exactly like professional wrestling announcers. Compare:

"They're HITTING THAT CURVE at OVER NINETY MILES per HOUR!!!!!!"
"Oooooooooh, THE COBRA-STRIKE CRIPPLER!!! VERY UNFORGIVING!!!!!"
"A lot of power there, Bob, a lot of strength, a lot of DETERMINATION!!!!!"
"And the Crimson Mandibles hits him from behind with a STEEL CHAIR!!!! VERY UNFORGIVING!!!!"

7 comments:

noncoupable said...

If it makes you feel any better, I worked the whole year (all 12 months) on a TA or GSR salary, and now I still owe $400. I would consider yourself in good shape, though I understand why getting taxed all at once on a grant must suck, too.

Beetlegirl said...

Um...no, seriously, we owed a lot, A LOT, of money.

noncoupable said...

:( I'm sorry.

But this reminds me... I don't pay for water at my place, and I keep forgetting to tell you guys that when you need to do laundry you can do it here for free! (my lease goes through June 30, I'm serious about this) :o)

Chrissy said...

DAMN THE MAN! Sorry to hear about your tax woes. Truly. :(

Thank bejesus for 2 buck chuck!

*hugs*

hardcori said...

We're getting slammed with about $7,500 for taxes, since it's not taken out of my pay and hubby works out of state. I've been doing some research, it's a crime not to file but not a crime not to pay...... ;)

kungfuramone said...

Wow. That is actually more than we owed, which I thought was hard to do...

hardcori said...

I was really hoping I could opt for debtors prison, but I don't think it works that way anymore. Bummer.