Long Term

I have always categorically rejected the notion that "it'll all work out in the end," basically because that idea has, historically, been highly inaccurate for most people.  That said, I'm coming to wonder if it's just a kind of mental conceit, a psychological trick like a mnemonic device, to keep from freaking out all the time.  Lately I've been running into some impasses with my (in-)ability to guard every word that comes out of my mouth, to stay on top of the pile of tasks I have for work, and to be a good, solid, responsible, fun husband and father.  There is a big tangle of Does Not Compute when these things all pile up.  Furthermore, given the circumstances of being a starting-out full-time college teacher with a vast stack of writing and revision ahead of me AND owning a new-to-us old house that will need modifications for years to come, it becomes imperative to adopt a long-term view.  That kind of view does not come naturally to me (it doesn't seem to come naturally to very many people, so I take comfort that I am in good neurotic company.) 

Life is some tricky shit.

1 comment:

Ransom said...

As you probably suspect, this is something I've spent some time thinking about.

I've had any number of thoughts, of varying levels of usefulness...

One is that the original phrase kinda means something just to the side of what it says. It won't all just work itself out, but in many or most cases, if you keep flailing away, you'll either eventually work something out, or you'll come up with a Plan B, and adapt your expectations to suit by the time it has worked out whatever way it has.

On the long-view point, I've been trying to remember that doing something is often what matters. You may have meant to work on Problem A today, but unless it's truly time-sensitive, if it is one of your miscellaneous long-term demands, it counts. Work on B, C, whatever you're in the mood for or can talk yourself into. Not that this helps with the myriad things that tend to need to get done today, or which atrophy without exercise... But progress is progress.