7.05.2007

Jinxed? No. Cursed? Probably.

I still insist: I cannot be jinxed. That said, we've had a rough run with the car. As you may recall, we dropped some serious bank on it maybe 4 weeks ago and spent a lot of time feeling very clever indeed for having gotten it nice and maintenanced before the big trip up to Oregon. Then, a few days later, the alternator belt crapped out on us while we were trying to have a picnic outing. We got that fixed, for cheap this time, then crossed our fingers that nothing else would happen.

Well, joke's on us. On the way through SF on the way to Novato on Tuesday, we got rear-ended. No major damage, just a loose bumper and a new addition to the collection of scrapes and paint residue, but a pretty lame scenario nonetheless. Fortunately for us, the driver was nice about it and his insurance has been nice so far as well, but neither of us is feeling particularly optimistic about anything, especially anything car-related.

That said, the Novato 4th of July parade was pretty awesome. Sun-burned honkies in funny clothes as far as the eye could see! It was kind of a cross between the parade in True Stories and the celebration in Waiting for Guffman.* Here were my two favorite elements:


The random teenage metal band float! They had signs that said "we need a vocalist!" and a myspace link. They were actually pretty good.



The enormous pack of basset hounds in little outfits! Holy cute puppies on parade, batman!

I'll never be a fan of the 4th, but I've decided that ridiculous municipal parades are probably the best thing about it.

*If you haven't seen either of these movies, you owe it to yourself to do so, pronto.

P.S. Go check out the blog of that one girl I'm married to for a photo essay of the parade that nicely captures its ambience.

7.03.2007

I Will Take Over

As of this moment, I have become convinced that most people are like me, and that as a result I will eventually be able to take over the world, with the support of my like-minded masses. Let me explain:

The Fourth of July is the most obnoxious holiday on the calendar. In most places, the weeks preceding and following the 4th are punctuated with explosions and people screaming.* On the 4th itself one generally has three options: spend a couple of hours getting to and from a munipal fireworks show, involving a giant stinky crowd, go to a barbecue and have a private fireworks show, involving significant risk to life and limb coming, going, and igniting, OR...hide. Side note: Fireworks themselves are usually much louder than they are pretty, especially when they're set off by asshole neighbors you wish you didn't have. All in all, the hassle-to-benefit ratio is completely out of whack.

The reason that I think I'm going to take over is that more people stay and hide than take either of options A. or B. There are 56,000 people in Santa Cruz, but only maybe a thousand will be down on the beaches, probably, and only maybe 10 or 15 thousand will be at barbecues. By my airtight math, that leaves about 40,000 SC residents-slash-proto-KFR supporters. If I can just get in touch with those people, imagine the possibilities.

* Most scream "woooooo!" You may remember my policy regarding "woooooo!": kidney stones.

7.01.2007

Succinct, Laconic

...sometimes, anyway. Here's a brief summary of the last few days:
  1. A met up with me for 30 minutes on Friday and, at one fell stroke, set me straight on how I might approach dissertation topics. It looks like I'm seriously going to be writing about the failure of the (French) left, but I need to get some critical interlocuters earlier than later if I can.
  2. Becky left for Novato and SF yesterday morning. You know what that means: Kill Bill, Civilization III, and even more coffee. If that's actually humanly possible.
  3. I hung out at Tweak's last night and finally got to meet her fiancé. I'm off to help them move in an hour and change. I believe, yes I believe, in moving karma.
Right now Pesto and I are listening to Turbonegro. She's the head of the Santa Cruz chapter of the BunnyTurboJugend.

6.28.2007

Pain Is an Unavoidable Side Effect

The Far Side was one of the great comics that ended gracefully - the artist chose to stop doing the strip before it got stale and lame (Calvin and Hobbes was, obviously, the other great comic that did the same thing.) I went to the dentist yesterday to have some preventative fillings done and it was totally the tennis-ball-in-your-mouth-just-because scenario. At one point they actually brought in the front desk lady to hold crap so the dentist and her assistant could have both hands free to shove more probes, hoses, pointy-sharp things, and scrapey-hurty things in my mouth.

But the real event yesterday was my first French tutoring session. Holy crap, you guys. It felt like my brain was in a rock tumbler. I was so confused that I couldn't remember English after about 30 minutes. Still, it was really useful: it confirmed that I'm pitifully underequipped to conduct research in France, but it gave me hope that I'll be less so by the time I actually have to do it. There was an episode of Carnivale Becky and I watched recently (more on that amazing show in an imminent blog post) in which the creepy preacher character started writing a book whose first chapter was entitled "Pain Is an Unavoidable Side Effect." That's how I feel about language study.

Today, the lovely and talented E joins the cosmopolitan A (and us) for the best BBQ you ever been BB2. I predict a riot.

6.26.2007

Debt Generation

I get mailings from my credit card company (which is also my bank) with "checks." You probably get them to. They're designed to look + act like "real" checks, but they simply charge whatever you're buying to your credit card. The verbiage that accompanies the mailings never ceases to amaze me. I paraphrase:

"Use the attached checks to PAY YOUR TAXES! NO, WE'RE SERIOUS!"
"Use the attached checks to BUY YOURSELF A BUNCH OF SHIT!"
"Use the attached checks to STAVE OFF THE COLLECTIONS AGENCIES until we SEND OURS AFTER YOU A MONTH LATER!"

The taxes one was especially amazing...right around tax time, they sent a six-pack of pseudo-checks and talked up paying any taxes you owed with them. Un-fucking-real.

This phenomena speaks to two things happening in American society that piss me off to no end. First is the general pattern of debt everyone, in particular people of my generation (b. mid-70s to early-80s) and younger, is embedded in. We're sold an image of the american lifestyle that involves new cars, new gizmos, 50-dollar shirts and 200-dollar pairs of jeans, and so on, but the opportunities to actually earn enough to buy into that lifestyle are all but nonexistent. Thus, millions of americans play the game of endlessly extending debt and deferring payment while maintaining an (ultimately unsustainable) lifestyle.

I'm less worried about that, because it's still possible to make ends meet and not go into debt if you just don't buy a lot of crap. A lot more threatening is the fact that it's nearly impossible to go to college without wracking up tens of thousands in debt. The whole point of public education is (in theory) leveling the playing field for people from different classes/income levels to have access to opportunities and societal resources. Now that college is mandatory, or at least sold as something everyone should aspire to, even as state funding is slashed and tuition climbs, an entire generation graduates with a B.A. in bullshit and 30K in loans to pay back.

(I was extra-depressed to read about kids going into comparable levels of debt in a vain attempt to be master chefs, thanks largely to the influence of the Food Network. As much as I enjoy Iron Chef and Alton Brown, it's unmitigated horseshit that food prep is now being sold as a kind of movie stardom.)

6.23.2007

Immune to Jinxing, or, Car Trouble and a Steak Knife

I'm immune to jinxing. I can say things like "I sure hope I don't get run over!" and I walk away unscathed. Thus, it came as a surprise when the following went down on Highway 1 about 10 miles south of Aptos today:

Chris + Becky (paraphrased): "We are so smart for getting our car serviced before heading up to Oregon! It's purring like a kitten! My what a reliable car we have!"

The Geo ("The Jizm Prizm"): "WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP TERRIBLE NOISE TERRIBLE NOISE!!!"

We pulled off the highway to take a look, assuming something had wrapped itself around the front axle. Instead, we discovered that a strip of the belt that hooks the alternator to the engine (I think) had peeled away and was thus slapping against the engine while we were driving. We decided to perform roadside surgery rather than call for a tow, so I cut off the strip using the only thing we had handy: a steak knife that was supposed to be for slicing salami on what was supposed to be our picnic in Carmel today. Then we drove back to Santa Cruz, gently.

What's the moral of this story: there is none. We just have to call the car place on Monday morning and see how soon we can get it back in to get the belt replaced (we checked and they didn't replace it when we had it in for service, although they did "inspect" all of the belts.)

HOWEVER: You know how whenever you see people pulled over by the side of the road with their car hood up, they're just standing around looking bewildered, kind of half-heartedly poking at their engine? Well, despite a COMPLETE LACK of automotive knowledge, I did something halfway useful while standing by the side of the road with my car hood up, and I did it with a steak knife.

(When we got home, we went to Plan B and took the bus to Natural Bridges and had our picnic there.)

P.S. I'm still immune to jinxing.

6.21.2007

1460 Days!

My homie the editor is back in the non-Livejournal blogosphere. To those of you reading who don't have a blog, why don't you take this opportunity to consider your terrible, terrible errors, and follow her example? We need to know what you're thinking, and to whom you're linking, at least two or three times a week.

Today is my fourth wedding anniversary. Among the many things this makes me think about is how subjective the perception of time is. In terms of feeling:

1. Becky and I got married on a funny, rain-then-shine day in the garden of a community center in Eugene oh, about a week ago.

In terms of actual objective fact:

1. She was 25, I was 24.
2. She was a kindergarten TA, I was a corporate IT guy.
3. We bailed on all of that and got M.A.'s in lit and history, respectively.
4. We went to New Zealand.
5. We lived in a collapsing, draughty house in Eugene for two years surrounded by idiotic screaming 19 year-old girls. But our new friends in Eugene were awesome, so the whole experience balanced out.
6. We moved to Santa Cruz.
7. She became a university administrator and launched a large-scale personal crafting project and I spent another year as a history grad.
8. She got even cuter. I'm not sure about me (although I do have this amazing new shirt.)

The only thing that has remained constant is that we have the same bunny.

Anyway, hi to everyone who was there and hi to everyone who we hadn't met yet at the time; if it was happening tomorrow, you'd totally have been invited.

6.19.2007

What's Left?

My homie The Goat and I have been having an exchange about Santa Cruz on his blog this morning. He took issue with my assertion that SC is a nice community. Most of our exchange is in the comments following his post.

I'm not so much interested in rehashing my thoughts on SC and racism, inchoate as those are. Instead, I'm reminded again of how weird it is to be somewhere in the center-right vis-a-vis many (most?) of my friends here. I think back to when I worked at the free-market-gone-mad companies I used to be at, surrounded by ex-military guys who thought all environmental laws were ridiculous and who loathed the very idea of organized labor, where I was the pinko commie tree-hugger, and then I think to now, where I'm the reactionary. It makes me think Deep Thoughts about what it means to be Left.

To be left is to have a sense of indignation at social injustice. It's a refusal to accept that everyone in the entire world can't be equal, or at least can't have equal chances. It's a belief that the just society must do its utmost to protect not only the rights of its citizens (please note my nationalistic use of "citizens" as the default kind of human being), but their possibilities to succeed in achieving happiness and comfort.

On paper, of course, the Right largely buys that agenda, but it believes that the free market is the proper mechanism for bringing it about. Ideally speaking, it's correct (I think) that all people starting from the same place would arrive at their station in life according to an aggregate of luck and ability, but what makes the left take issue with that concept is that never in human history has everyone started from the same place, and it isn't "luck" that prevents people from having equal chances, it's structural factors like racism, (neo-,post-,whatever-) colonialism, sexism, etc. that limit the chances of the many so that the chances of the few are dramatically improved. While many of the overtly racist / sexist / etc. doctrines have been shelved, at least in official rhetoric, the legacies remain in all of the ways that people in academia are constantly pointing out.

The problem is that it's really easy to be right and really hard to be left. If all you have to do to live a just life is try to get rich while staying more-or-less honest and honorable, it doesn't take a lot of analysis. Look at all the mouth-breathing morons in business programs. On the other hand, if justice is only achievable after the most careful study of history, economics, politics, sociology, and psychology, who among us can really claim to understand the Big Picture? Marxism has had such a long shelf-life because Marx was very, very smart, and he offered a total picture of life that leftists could cling to; he had already figured out the whole fucking world, and marxists obstinately clung to his explanations over a century after they no longer described the world accurately.

Another reason it's easy to be right and hard to be left is that the right doesn't have to worry about fixing problems; the market will take care of them. All the individual has to do is worry about his or her own financial situation and the proof-in-the-pudding of living the good life is money in the bank. The left, on the other hand, has to figure out how to fix everything and by what means. This fact lends itself to the endless in-fighting and bickering among leftists, as they try to clarify their positions and champion their solutions, often at cross-purposes with people who agree with their principles in theory (which is what brought this whole thing up for me today: ok, SC is largely white and racism is bad. Now what?)

It's frustrating. I know what I believe: the unrestrained free market plunders the earth and mercilessly exploits human beings, so the proper role of government is the regulation of the market. The environment must be protected because human life, and quality of life, depends on its continued healthy existence. Religion is a matter of personal choice and must not be forced on anyone, particularly on children. A group of certain "rights" represent the best working definition of civil freedom and must be treated as legal and ethical absolutes. Violence is only justified in self defense. Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

The problem is that, even if my "fellow" leftists agree with all of that, we'd still argue all night about the particulars, while the right is off getting rich and ruling the world.

In conclusion to a too-long blog post, I'll just say that "we" would do well to remember who are friends are; we have a lot of enemies, and we don't do ourselves any favors undermining and sniping at one another.